Great Ocean Road & Grampians Tour – February 2024 – Blog #5
Day 11
With all the nature birds & wildlife, our set alarms coincided at 6.30am to be able to get away by 8am. The wildlife must of known of our tight itinerary for our last day on this Great Ocean Road & Grampians tour & what a pleasant way to wake up. EGR has a bit to do each morning, rolling up her swag, sorting out her suitcase, clothes, laundry, shower, brekky & looking after me too I guess like every other tour day, so it takes around 90mins for us to get underway on the road taking in our stress-free easy pace. As usual I slept like an absolute log but unfortunately EGR had a very bad sleep with nearby backpacker van (arriving late at night & being inconsiderate to the other campers) so it will be a long, tough day for her.
We also have so much food to sort out for our last day (dry & fridge) & it will be a challenge to consume it all or throw it out into a waste bin later. Anyway, we escaped out of Lakeside Caravan Park after the boom gate & turned right to head out onto the service road & then onto the main road however within the first 200m I had to brake very hard to avoid 2 large adult emus stressing out with my vehicle approaching alongside the road. The male, of course, I accept was the most stupid in overreacting. Lol!! The female was slightly smaller in statue & knew her partner would ‘control’ things … eventually. They were healthy & magnificent & were two of many about this park area at this time of the day. These two were the biggest I have ever seen. We were not able to get a photo of them either which was very unfortunate. EGR, myself & the van (loose items shifted to the front) all received a huge shock at first but then soon overjoyed with the wonderful close up nature.
Anyway, with that unneeded adrenalin rush we hit the road to Stawell, some 32klms on, a rural town that has an annual professional running race meeting held over 3 days at Easter & with a history of 146yrs of this event since 1878. Most races are handicapped where the faster runners are stepped back to so many metres at the starting lines to the slower runners. This event is one of the richest footrace meetings in the world. A huge event with runners from all over the world. Not bad for a small town of some 7,000 citizens. Stawell is the gateway to the Grampians National Park if coming from the East.
EGR has her headphones on to limit the rattle noises & motor of the van but still gives me navigational directions, such is her willingness to push the envelope to assist in between shutting her eyelids, moments at a time. Before long, we stop for about 40mins to peruse the main streets of Ballarat some 90mins into our journey. The wide streets are filled with magnificent old buildings dating back to the 1850s & remain in very good condition & obviously heritage listed. Ballarat was formed in 1838 & as of 2024 has a population of 119,096 making it the third-largest urban inland city in Australia and the third-largest city in Victoria.
Ballarat was a massive gold rush region back in the 1850s & on 3rd December 1854 was the most famous call to arms by miners in combatting the large police force & soldiers known as the Eureka Stockade. The miners protested by firearms for the excessive miner licences inflicted upon them. Sadly, 22 miners were killed in this brief exchange. This was the first organised protest that brought changes to the present laws & politicians. In 1858 the town swelled to 60,000, mostly men but this soon depleted when the gold dried up. The town effectively was proclaimed a city in 1871 & the railway soon followed. Ballarat started as a sheep farming area pre-settlement to a gold rush region to a large manufacturing centre and now combines that with tourism due to the strict heritage salvaging of buildings, streets and war memorial trees planted along the Avenue of Honour where the magnificent sandstone memorial Arch of Victory spans across the avenue.
Heading back to the van we noticed The Gold Shop in Lydiard St Nth, where they showed replicas of some of the gold & silver nuggets unearthed in the region. Wouldn’t I like to stumble across this size of gold on our walks! We celebrated such a wealth of history with a great coffee from Cobb’s Coffee & then hit the road again before our parking meter was done & the drop off van time deadline was creeping up.
In just leaving Ballarat on came the low fuel reading .. argh!!! How did I miss that? EGR said another petrol station was 18klms away (Google Maps) so we will make it. Whew!! .. we made it .. after missing a turn & eventually doing a U turn!! EGR then programmed a rest point near the van drop off at Somerton (Northern Melbourne suburb) to have lunch & do our final pack & see what food & drink is left over. I don’t know where the guidance was taking us along those back roads, my brain compass went astray long ago but I trusted EGR & yes it all worked out. We had the leftover Thai Stir-fry & some extra food still in the fridge. Tummy extra full!!
With super lunch done, we travelled another 9klms to drop off the van & and thankfully, it only took 6mins (I had paid the return free fee of petrol, gas & toilet dump, etc when hiring). While I was talking to another travelling couple a Uber turned up. EGR organised for the Uber the minute we drove in to keep to our time schedule. She instructed the driver to drop off her luggage at her friend’s place (jeweller shop) nearby & then proceeded to Wyndham Melbourne with me to pick up her small bag she booked into storage there some 8days ago. This was a good move to avoid carrying her excess luggage around. EGR was catching her plane back to the Sunshine Coast, Qld a day or two after me, so I’m on my own again to see the last of Melbourne.
Last Day Dropping off Van
At Wyndham she gained her small bag & with a few hugs & thank you’s she was gone to catch the tram back to her friend’s jewellery shop before closing. She caught me trying to shuffle some dollars into her bag to help with her budget back home & she skilfully sorted me out & so not to offend me. Still can’t get anything past her. I reaffirmed to her on how she excelled from her disability in handling the past 10days & how thrilled I was she managed to get through all those days & nights so there’s nothing she can’t do now to excel even further.
After a sad good-bye I settled back into Wyndham & undertook my washing & drying & then headed out in search of a great place to relax & maybe have a beer, etc. I wasn’t ready to push more food into my still full stomach at this point.
After walking over 2.5klms & seeing about 8 pubs/ taverns & the like I finally found one called The Boilermaker House. The craft beer was amazing & had 3 schooners before heading back to Wyndham for a dinner of leftovers. Melbourne seems to be low in having great pubs & the like with atmosphere on the ones I found. Surely, I’m wrong … but it is well known, Melbourne is extremely slow in recovering from the world’s longest COVID city lockdown & businesses lost. Walking around it is quite obvious to the viewer. Back at Wyndham, I had completed 7.5klms of overall walking for the day, so I exceeded my target yet again. Yay!!!
Tomorrow, I head back to the Gold Coast to pick up my trusty ute at my son’s place (Matt & Ashlee) at Banora Point, NSW then see Kate (my daughter) & her family at Canungra, Qld before heading back home to paradise in Yamba, NSW & having a beer at my cousin’s micro-brewery, The Wobbly Chook (he’s for real & his name is Chook!). I’m not a beeraholic, but a scotch one.
I’ll end this Blog #5 here, so stay safe, happy & hopefully enjoy the photos as much as I have had reviewing them.
“Communication … Communication … Talk to each other”. From a song “Kite” on the concert DVD “Go Home” by U2 @ Slane Castle. YouTube have it also.
Thank you again for reading my blogs and I trust you will stay safe, happy & healthy for 2024 and for it to be a far better year for all. I do not receive any commissions &/or ‘perks’ from the above nominated businesses & locations as I am purely happy to provide the acknowledgement and connection.
I always look forward to seeing the feedback so don’t be afraid to comment. Live life to the most and a quote that I truly love is from Eckhart Tolle ..
“If I am not the hero of my life … who in the hell could be?”
My Great Ocean Road & Grampians Tour – January 2024 Blog #1
First, may I say apologies for the large gap in my travel blog publications. Since 11th September 2023 to 8th January 2024 with a few weeks off in-between I did major renovations to my cousin’s house in Coffs Harbour, some 90mins away. There were 2 large decks 4m off the ground that were severely unsafe plus major work needed for the house to sell. So glad that I managed to finish it & still alive. Lol!!
I never thought I had a bucket list of travels but somewhere in my backyard brain I longed to do The Great Ocean Road (GOR) in Victoria at some point. It was only searching my Wyndham Resort Ownership website I found they had returned to offer a Winnebago/ van travel option. Seeing I had enough points I was able to score a 2bed apartment at Wyndham Melbourne, 199 William St for a few days soaking up Melbourne & then obtaining the van for 7days hire. The 2 bed was the only apartment available for the timing required.
These blogs I will be doing on the GOR have a large volume of photos so sit back & enjoy these like I did. I used a platform called Polarsteps on my phone to help with my daily adventures in writing & photos so you may wish to upload & follow me on that too. It’s free. A Netherlands friend put me onto it when I planned their Sydney to Cairns road trip late last year. There is far too much to write about The Great Ocean Road & The Grampians, so it is left up to you to set your own itinerary & be satisfied with what you achieved. It may several tours of this region to accomplish a full in-depth tour of the sights, wineries, events, etc, etc. Such an awesome region of history too. I did my best to research prior, but on my journey, I found useful booklets along the way so if you can get the Travel Planner booklet Edition 4 from www.visitgreatoceanroad.org.au you will find this amazing & of great help in setting your targets. Here’s a map to show the coast road townships & circled places we stayed but first we have a few days in Melbourne before travelling. Melbourne is Victoria’s capital city of some 6Mil people. Melbourne is located in top right of photo map.
With all things confirmed I booked my Virgin flight from Gold Coast Airport, 30 Jan 2024 & this involved leaving Yamba & staying at my son’s place (Matt & Ashlee) at Banora Point where they will drop me off for the plane on their way to work. This made me so early I had to wait many hours for the flight, but I never minded this, for the opportunity to watch people being excited, crying in good-byes & all the other emotions involved in travelling & fewer people checking in … along with a great coffee. Never been one to have a beer prior to flying.
Many years ago, I met a young Australian lady travelling our great country at my cousin’s Backpackers at Yamba, NSW. She was vibrant and gained a front of house job there for quite some time. She loved Yamba & stayed. Like most workers & backpackers we all chatted & got on famously, even with this old bloke. EGR (Privacy respected) eventually left but over time she helped me in providing free travel to a German backpacker, Anita where I was able to take her completely around the Sth Island of NZ in 2017 in a 6berth Winnabago to which she & her parents remain ever grateful. EGR stayed in touch & at some point I ‘helped’ her through some terrible times she was having, albeit by phone. Long story short, EGR, with her parents were travelling in a convoy with EGR doing her own driving with a small A shaped caravan, late in 2023 as her first major test, & she wanted to catchup with me & others at Yamba to show her parents what she experienced in Yamba years ago & to meet me of course.
My initial shock when she walked into the backpackers, now a boutique hotel & micro-brewery, The Wobbly Chook Brewing Company, (post COVID) was EGR had an assistance dog, Duke (Great Dane x Bull Arab) .. Yikes!! That’s a big assistance dog! We had a great chat & The Great Ocean Road trip (GOR) came up & after a while she asked if she could come along & without Duke. She wanted to see if she could cope without Duke & wanted to revisit the GOR she did quite some years ago & would be a great navigator for me too. I said, sure, if you could deal with me. LOL!!! In Mid-January 2024 after a myriad of texts we both confirmed we were ready to go & all flights, etc were booked. Lucky, I originally booked the 2bed apartment prior.
EGR & Duke
Leaving Gold Coast Airport
Day 1 of Escape
Back at the airport now & arriving quite early I bag dropped my luggage & proceeded to security where a young Brazilian man was bringing his checked bag through the security & I pulled him up on it just as the security officer stopped him. I took him back around to the bag drop & showed him how to do it through the terminals scattered around on the floor. Nothing was checking out on the terminal pad & was stating baggage closed. He was flying Jetstar, so I immediately began to get the picture. There was a Jetstar counter on the opposite side of the terminal & I explained all to the staff. His flight was almost finished boarding, so they had to rebook him on another flight. He was so thankful for my assistance. Just prior to going to my departure gate he saw me in the crowd & thanked me again, leaving with huge smiles & a wave. He was so relieved to be on his way.
Still in G/Coast & when my boarding call was announced I saw a young lady standing just outside the departure lounge ropes & was wondering seeing her stressed and somewhat anxious. I hope she is all right.
I boarded the 737-800 airbus & obtained a window seat & in 2+hrs arrived in Melbourne Tullamarine with the weather remarkably fine. Melbourne is renowned for having 4 seasons in one day. My friend, EGR from the Sunshine Coast, Qld texted me, for her flight was now cancelled due to a heavy storm. She can’t fly till late tomorrow now. I was reading this text while waiting for my bag pickup on the carousel when I noticed the young lady, mentioned before, standing next to me. I said “Hi” & explained to her my friend just had her flight cancelled so plans have changed somewhat. I asked her about standing outside the ropes at the airport. She was waiting for a standby seat & was so relieved to get one on my flight. I then asked her if her trip to Melbourne was business, or pleasure. She replied “divorce” & started to tear up. With a few words, I was able to ease her pain & regained her smile, with more discussion I offered her a coffee to talk more if that was of help seeing I had been where she was many years prior. I was sure she was going to agree when her phone rang & she had to walk off for privacy. I had my large backpack now off the carousel, but she was still on the phone & walking to the carpark. I would have loved to have had coffee with her & offer my divorce & new life experiences if that is what she would be seeking. It was sad to see her alone in her world.
With EGR delayed I clambered onto the shuttle Skybus (can’t miss them – shiny red) to the Southern Cross Station for $23.80 (no pensioner discount .. arghh!!) a few blocks from my Wyndham resort in the CBD. After checking in, I returned back to the Sthrn Cross Station & scaled the street elevators to see what was behind the wall of buildings on that busy Spencer St. At the top was a large open causeway & open area for pedestrian access to buildings & train lines, plus the enormous Marvel Stadium. This stadium has an operating roof when needed & is so large it has cricket matches here, mainly, 20 & 50over games. There are no events scheduled here at present & there appears to be no internal tours available. I only have memories of TV games played there. After a walkaround EGR sent a list of special food required for her health condition for her arrival tomorrow & Coles food shop was just below on ground floor to make it all well-timed & easy. After shopping & storing the goods into the resort apartment’s fridge, etc I perused the street for dinner & found a Porterhouse Steak meal at Kings St Pub. Steak + 1pint of beer $56.80 thanks very much. Ouch!!! They only served pots or pints, no schooners. The pint cost around $16. Walked overall 9.76klms so that well exceeded my health step daily average of course. Nice 26°C for Melbourne. My 2bed apartment was excellent, such is the normal Wyndham high standard. I took the 2nd bedroom, so EGR could have the master & ensuite to make it better for her over the next 3 days.
Stadium Concourse
Marvel Stadium
Looking out from the Concourse towards Docklands
Day 2
Woke up at 6am for an early Wyndham owner update which included brekky, coffee & juice. Finally, I had a great update from Wyndham. Best one for years. After that, I headed off for a 2+klm walk to the famous 110,000+ seat MCG stadium tour + Sports Museum Tour (2+hrs). Walked along the Yarra River past Flinders St Station & watched numerous rowing teams on my way. Also encountered the mass dismantling of the Australian Open Tennis setup which had just completed next door to the MCG.
The first things you see are the enormous structure of the stadium & the 6 x 80m light towers & then coming close to several bronze statues of legends, like Shane Warne, Betty Cuthbert & Shirley Strickland to name a few outside of Gate 3 entrance. Whilst the stadium is huge from the outside, it is only when you enter that you realize the playing ground is quite deeper than the surrounding land outside.
A volunteer MCG member was our tour guide & within a few minutes the guide, already frustrated, begged me to keep the group together & flowing, for any wandering or stopping affects the tours of others following us. The tours are only available when there are no events scheduled. The tours of both cost $35 in total on a concession, so they are of great value. Keeping the group together was a huge task & I lost my patience & tolerance particularly on an Indian family who showed utter contempt of keeping together. These Indians were so disgusting, rude, arrogant & my words spoken to them were quite direct & accurate. My blood was boiling!! Worst ever experienced on any tour I had undertaken. Afterwards, the tour guide was so very thankful that I did a great job. He too was very annoyed with them & disgusted with their behaviour.
The tours overall took some 70mins & so much history. In the Sports Museum tour (you are left to wander on your own & time) there is an AI hologram of the famous spinner Shane Warne talking about his career & what cricket meant to him & his history he had in this 10mins viewing. He’s greatly missed in the cricket world & the hologram was so real looking. His children have now set up a great charity to do with the heart.
We walked the hallowed ground of grass at the fence line & to see the wicket being prepared in the centre, but sadly not to see the change rooms, due to no access with cricket between West Indies & Australia in 2 days’ time on a one-day 50s game. The large expanse of grass & wicket pitches in about 2weeks time will be totally covered with a temporary floor for the upcoming Taylor Swift concert where she will play in front of her ever-biggest crowd of some 110,000 people. The grass will then be fully ripped up & replaced in time for the upcoming Aust Rules Football game where there are 3 clubs that share this ground. The wicket pitches are drop-ins so they will be lifted by special machines & replaced with a football drop-in centre pitch.
After the museum, I walked back towards Wyndham resort plus more groceries for EGR arriving much later today. With great timing EGR text me she was minutes away in a black Lexus Uber & will need help with her baggage. She was NOT wrong!!! She brought everything. I asked her where the kitchen sink was? LOL!!
With EGR now settled & very thankful & comfortable in seeing her bedroom & ensuite. A little overwhelmed, I think of providing her so-called ‘special treatment’. Again, we had to get more specialist food & decided on having dinner out as well. Getting back to the apartment EGR had hit the wall & off to bed but we managed to see the pool on the roof area (23rd Floor) & city sites prior. EGR has a low body battery & can’t handle noise, crowds & long conversations due to her brain disability (injury). With my day I had accrued over 20,000 steps or 15.29klms. Definitely, need sleep too & an easier day tomorrow.
23rd Floor Pool Area View (North)
Looking Over Supreme Court of Victoria
Looking Sth East
Day 3
After a big walk day yesterday & with EGR needing recovery time I found myself waking up at 8.30am & a text from EGR needing to sleep till at least 10.30am. After a half bowl of yoghurt & blueberries I hit the walking pathway again. I found Hardware Lane where numerous coffee shops & restaurants rev backup from the previous night’s surge. Then revisited 333 Collins St to see the awesome historical internal building masterpiece of the general public area & then to Federation Sq/ Flinders St Railway Station.
333 Collins St
Reviewing my Google Maps, I noticed Capt James Cook’s cottage was about 1klm away in the magnificent garden area. Cook being a true hero of mine I had to see this. Such a tragedy that he only spent a mere 4yrs at his home with his wife Elizabeth & had 6 children who all died prior to James & Elizabeth & therefore no heirs became of it. This house is a bit confusing, for it was Capt Cook’s father’s house. Purchasing a $7 ticket I was able to enter inside & see how they lived in such mini quarters. This house was built in 1755 for Cook’s father as a reward from his employer after his son James Cook joined the Navy. James Cook never lived in this house. Sir Russell Grimwade in 1933 learnt that the cottage was for sale in Britain. Grimwade then had the cottage dismantled & rebuilt in Melbourne 1934, making it the oldest house in Australia & felt it was worthy for Australia to be gifted this historical home. Inside the small, fenced enclosure volunteers were dressed in historical outfits & provided a commentary to any questions offered. At the side of the cottage is a full garden of vegetables/ herbs grown back then to show what was needed to live well. The rear of the house is the attached stable for the horses. An old-style garage for the transport vehicles. LOL!!!
From there I went past the historical buildings of significance, such as the Dept of Education, Old Treasury Building (now The Melbourne Museum) & finally the large Criminal building .. oops! .. Victoria’s Parliament House. I know I was right the first time!! Corruption at the highest-level prior, during & post COVID & still continuing. Can’t wait for justice on those criminal politicians.
Clockwise from Top Left – Cook’s House Frontage, Cook’s House from Stable End, Old Treasury Building, now Arts Museum, Victoria’s Parliament House (Criminal House more like it).
Taking Bourke St, I ventured on a tram within the free tram zone area where I was now able to meet up with EGR after her sleep in. I literally stepped off to almost fall into her lap on a platform seat. LOL! EGR, letting me know she feels better took me to Degreaves St Mall, then to “The Block Arcade” where there is a strong history of an amazing building & in the early 1800s socialites paraded around for daily communication & recognition. A real snobbery affair each day & was the place to be noticed if you met the grade required. Inside this historic building we had high tea in the most prestigious tea house in Australia called The Tea Rooms 1892. I had coconut, mango & black tea with a Mango mousse cake. Yummo!!! This tea house is always visited by EGR & her parents on their visits to Melbourne & extremely popular with tourists & citizens. EGR was super pleased to shout me this treat & to show me the better parts of Melbourne. We then went to Brunetti’s nearby where massive amounts of cakes; pastries & even pizzas are made. Their displays of their range were beyond belief & very popular for cake & coffee. Such an amazing place.
Walking further past Flinders’ St Station we crossed the 1868 bridge to the 2nd floor of Hamer Hall on Southbank for another city view. The bridge photo has EGR above the centre span sign on her way back to the resort for a much-needed recuperation prior to dinner with her friend later. Good battery management EGR.
Clockwise from Top Left – Flinders St Station Elevation, The Block Arcade, Brunetti’s Frontage, One of Brunett’s Displays, 1868 Bridge (St Kilda Rd Start), Flinders St Station Frontage opposite Federation Square.
I continued to walk Southbank & found Soho Restaurant where I enjoyed beers in Happy Hour till 6pm, great music and watched the hundreds of people walking past & the crazy EV scooters screaming past at a stupid speed & then back to the resort waiting up for EGR who needed to sleep almost as soon as she walked in. A big day for her.
Tomorrow, I have the entire day on my own due to EGR’s appointments with friends & relatives, so will look for more activities & sights.
Day 4
With EGR sleeping in as agreed .. I had the whole day & night to occupy myself. First, I had to cut up the butternut pumpkin & cauliflower after brekky for EGR to make her ‘famous’ mild curry before she meets her friend & later some relatives. EGR has to sleep with earplugs so my cutting up noise wasn’t a problem, although I still kept things as quiet as possible.
Walking down Little Bourke St I stopped at Trim in Hardware St for coffee (very nice) & then walked to Flinders St Railway Station to catch the #38 old tram for a free city tram loop travel. The carriage used is now 101yrs old & certainly travelled like it. 🤣
The p.a had failed so I was left to help a few travellers as I had the Tram Map showing locations & platforms. It was there I met a very young Chinese student who sat next to me & wanted to know our current location & the conversation then expanded considerably with more of her questions about this old man. Her friends stayed a few seats away (shy). Time flew & after her requesting my travelling website blog for her father & some inspirational reading for her, we took some photos as well. My travel website being, https://bhlifestyles.travel.blog All in all, she & her friends ended up doing 1.5 of the city loops (about 50mins) with me before she could alight, such was our conversations. She was such great company & thankful for my friendship.
City Tram Loop
For myself, I eventually did 2.5loops & with that, helped 2 very location confused American ladies who were so grateful in getting them to alight correctly. At the same time, I helped a Korean family to alight at their stop. I should get paid by Vic Transport; I think.
Getting off at Flinders Station it was time for a beverage so after a few choices I eventually found myself at Brunetti’s again for a pastry, surprisingly called Escargo .. found it was a scroll but the swirls resembled a snail .. whew!! & a great Lavazza coffee. I thought the pastry was a typical coffee scroll but no coffee, just smears of vegemite … a bit weird & definitely, not sweet. I settled down to do my computer ‘stuff’ on one of their large high tables (such a great spot) & then wandered around the streets & later had a health smoothie in Degreaves St. Such a cruisey day.
After seeing a fair bit of Melbourne, I was wondering what I can now fit it on my last sightseeing day. Doing a 360° I saw a neon sign stating Australia are playing the West Indies in a day/ night (50over cricket game) at the MCG today starting at 2pm. With another 2klms of walking I bought a General Admission ticket for $23 at Gate 3, so glad I did the MCG tour days earlier, so I knew where I was going, etc. I watched an entertaining game for quite a few hours but reluctantly, yet responsibly had to get back to my resort for dinner & to do my washing & drying ready for the Great Ocean Rd tour tomorrow & to assist EGR if required upon her return. Australia’s Capt Steve Smith came into bat just when I left & I missed his great innings. Bummer!!! Australia did win comfortably in the end.
My Chinese Students saying Good-bye
Pre National Anthems
Australia are Fielding
For dinner, I funnily found myself back at Trim restaurant. Food was sensational. Upon leaving & almost back to the resort I found that I had lost my treasured well-travelled water bottle slipping out of my backpacks side pocket, so I retraced my steps to no avail. I was very attached to that water bottle I took to several countries. With so many people following me, not one person even bothered to advise me of my dropped bottle. I guess, that is Melbourne & city people. Thoughtless & detached.
I managed to do my laundry & completed some tasks just before EGR returned from her relatives visit. She was excited but now so worn out it may be a struggle to get away at the right time tomorrow. She had accomplished so much today. Tomorrow will be a full day too. All in all, I did 9.74klms today of walking so it’s sleep time for me too. Next blog will be the start of the Great Ocean Road, so stay tuned.
I always look forward to seeing feedback so don’t be afraid to comment. My next blog/s will be more of the Great Ocean Road where experiences & views will give more reasons to life & of how life changes, & not just for me.
Live life to the most and a quote that I truly love is from Eckhart Tolle ..“If I am not the hero of my life … who in the hell could be?”